Come to Pharoh

"Come to Pharoh" 
30 x40 
Acrylic, mixed media, gold leaf 
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The Parsha that describes our redemption from Egypt begins with the words "Bo El Pharaoh" .. which indicates Pharaoh, the evil leader, has the upper hand and Moshe has to beg him for freedom!
Pharaoh's spiritual source is from the word "Ispariu", which means to burst forth the source of all lights. Even Moshe was afraid of this great revelation, especially as a soul in a limited body!
Therefore he needed a special empowerment from God himself, to enable a soul in a limited body to have the ability to experience the revelation from God's very essence!
This was necessary because the whole intention of the redemption was to receive the Torah, so that Gods very essence (Anochi), should have a dwelling place in the lowest of realms, in the beis hamikdash, in the physical world and in our healthy bodies.
Through Moshe fulfilling this command of coming to Pharaoh, facing the darkness of the evil and the intensity of the bursting forth of light, the power is now drawn forth for every Jew, to be a soul in a body, and be united with the essence of God. 
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(Vulnerable poem on how I am internalizing this message)
Bo El Pharaoh
Come Sara
Come to Paroah
My inner voice of darkness
The voices keeping me a slave to misery and pain
“You're not enough
You're not helping enough ppl
You're not saving the world
You're not a good enough mother
You're not friends with everyone
You're not teaching shalom bayis classes
You're not selling your art ...
You're not on a high spiritual level ..
You're not helping out family earn $ like everyone else!
Youre not authentic as your share.. because u don't really live what u teach…
Nobody sees u… nobody likes u..
Looser!!
Do more!!!
Do it now !!!
Do it calmly and selflessly …”
Bo El Pharaoh
Come to this darkness ...
Come with Hashem ...
Come to the voice that wants to be holier..
That wants to do more..
That wants to live higher...
And always improve…
And if not I'm a looser and eating worms…
It's time..
To face this darkness finally
And see past the surface of it…
Time to see the source of my inner narsasistic Paraoh … beating me with a harsh whip…
And time to see the other side of this voice 
Is really the source of all..
The true I..
Anoichi Hashem elokecha ..
I am ok 
I am free 
I am divine and safe and loved 
I am the source of light - essential light 
And I can live with this light 
Without pressure...
Just being ...
Living with Hashem 24/7...
In my body ...
Slowly but surely
Chamber by chamber
Layer by layer …
Removing the old .. inviting the new
It's time for Moshiach
Time to live with the essence of Hashem
Not just the light..
The source of light
Within everything..
Especially within the physical and within my body..
So hard to let go of all my old beliefs
That are telling me to just please everyone and please God and be the good girl.. and if not…
They came to keep me safe 
Because I thought I was alone 
And now they feel like me
And at the same time they're keeping me trapped 
So hard to imagine letting go of all I've known to keep me good and safe … 
That it's really okay to let go of all my godly agendas...
And really trust 
I'm being held by God at all times…and I'm actually part of his oneness with all my humanness 🫂
I know you're scared Sara ..
So was moshe...
Hashem is with us ..
Hashem is one with me..
One step at a time   ..
Ready or not..
Here we go…
I am very human, vulnerable, messy 
And I am very Divine, whole, holy 
I am free to be all of me, all the time